another weird dream blog.

so this morning, i had a dream in which i was surrounded by all of my family, chris, and all of his family, and all of them were telling me that i was pregnant and should be going into labor at any minute.

i didn't really believe them, i certainly didn't *feel* pregnant.  i even poked my own belly and was like, 'nope, don't feel a baby.'

but they were trying to get me ready, and i went in my room and it was filled with a bunch of diapers.  work called me and wanted me to come in, and i was like 'apparantly going into labor, i'd have asked for maternity leave but i wasn't sure i was prengant.'

people are trying to take my to the hospital.  i'm calling chris trying to find him.  he finally comes outside and decides to play bumper cars with the his truck and the truck i'm sitting in, pregnant, and also with a bunch of other people.  so i throw the parking brake on so he can't bump us.  like that was going to help.  D:

finally, everybody leaves except for mom and dad.  i question my status further, since if i really was pregnant and in labor chris would not have left.  i ask my parents to take me to the hospital so i can figure this all out, and they tell me to wait until i go into full labor and they'd take me.

and i was like, 'fine, i'll walk.'  so i started walking to the hospital.  then i started jogging to the hospital, thinking if i really was pregnant all the moving would force the baby out and somebody would take me to the hospital.  and if no baby came out, i was still going to the hospital to find out why everybody was crazy.

peace.

a drama baby blog.

i just had to share this story with you guys, cuz my little bugglette is the biggest drama queen i know.

so, if you happened to read my blog over at bugglette's about bug's episode of craft rage you have a setting for this story.  i mentioned we had to find her some glue to use on her foam polar bear kit.  well, she was looking for her glue stick, which she had loaned to chris the night before when he was gluing some game pieces together.

in bug's exact words:  'chris left the lid off and when i found it it was all dried up so i threw it away!!'

well, while in my room today, next to the game pieces chris was working on, was a perfectly fine, lidded glue stick that wasn't there before (considering i don't own any glue at all, i also borrow bug's school supplies).  the same one bug had let him use.  he had picked it up with all his stuff when he brought it back to my room.  :P

my little drama queen, instead of just saying that she couldn't find it, told a whole story about how chris had ruined her glue stick.

i told mom and we both had a laugh about it.

peace.

30 days of truth: days twenty-one though whatever.

still behind from all the excitement of the past few days! dropped my ring off to get it sized to the perfect fit, picking it up tomorrow! for now though, gonna try to just finish off this list. :D

day twenty-one: your best friend is in a car accident and you two got in a fight and hour before. what do you do?

i find this question very silly. not that i'm cold hearted, but i bet every single person has pretty much the same answer. even if you fought over the last piece of gum you'd still feel horrible. everybody is going to feel horrible and rush to the hospital. no surprise really.

day twenty-two: something you wish you hadn't done in your life.

i've mentioned this before, so i won't go into it again. 

day twenty-three: something you wish you had done in your life.

i wish i would have gone to hair school after i graduated instead of spending so much money going to college. apparently we are just a hair-doin' family, i think i would have liked it.  maybe someday.  :)

day twenty-four:  make a playlist for someone.

a long one.  see next blog.  :D

day twenty-five:  the reason you're still alive today.

because i take care of myself and haven't encountered a serial killer?  

again, silly question, unless you ask somebody that has actually faced death.  i haven't, so i'm alive because i'm still supposed to be.  :)

day twenty-six:  have you ever thought about giving up on life?

i wish i had better, cooler and longer answers for you guys, but no i have never done this.  i guess i'm just an optimistic person. 

day twenty-seven:  what's the best thing you have going for you right now?

i'm engaged to be married to the man i love!  he's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and i'm just so excited!  i can't wait to be a bride and a wife!

day twenty-eight:  what if you were pregnant?  what would you do?

hmm.  well, i go through a lot of effort to not get pregnant, i get my depo shot every three months, so if it were to happen, i'd be in major shock.  other than that, i guess it depends on the situation.  if we were in a position, or were getting there, then it would be alright.

i am however, very pro-adoption.  it would be wrong of me to have a child that i couldn't take care of when there are so many people in the world who can't have their own children to love.  so if that were the case, if i was pregnant with a child that i knew we didn't have the means to care for, adoption is the choice i would go with.

on the other hand, while on the subject of adoption, i would like to adopt one of my children in the future.  again, so many kids who need love and not enough people!  as far as i know, chris is also for adoption so i do see it happening someday. 

day twenty-nine:  something you hope to change about yourself.

as far as a person, i'm finally able to say that i am  happy with the person that i am.  

health-wise, however, i could be doing a lot better.  all of us could.  so in january my whole family is going to try the weight watchers plan, if we all do it then we can lose some of this weight!  it will help our backs and our knees and just our overall health!  i don't want to get married and then die of a heart attack because i can't take care of myself!  on that note, chris is going to be semi-dieting with us (hopefully he'll do it at home too, but i can't watch him all the time!)  so it will be good for all of us.  hopefully we can do it!

day thirty:  a letter to yourself, tell yourself everything you love about you!

dear tiffers,

you are so totally awesome.  you have an awesome family that loves you, a super cool hair cut and a fiance that love you just the way you are!  apparently you are very sweet even when you're not thinking about it (like today when you put the towel on the towel rack for chris while he was in the shower, he totally thought that was awesome) so you don't have to try so hard to get people to like you.   you're perfect just the way you are.

love, tiffers.

an ENGAGEMENT blog.

as of christmas day 2010 i am engaged to the most awesome, sweet, funny, cuddly and most of all AMAZING guy in the entire world!!

it all started with a HUGE box that two babies very much wanted to open, so a chunk of the wrapping paper was already missing.  of course, the big box was the last present for me to open.  and quite a few times i said to chris that i don't think i've done anything to deserve a box this big, but chris seemed to believe that i had.

upon opening the huge box, i saw a fuzzy green blanket.  it was a nice blanket, and i snuggled it, but apparently this was only a decoy.

underneath the blanket was another piece of cardboard, chris pulled it out and there was another really big wrapped box under it.  so i pulled it out and unwrapped it and opened that box to find some tissue paper and another box.  emptied it, unwrapped it and found another box.  this happens about five more times.  then i get to some nice looking christmas boxes.  opened it to find a smaller box, opened the smaller box to find a little black velvet box.  

now at this point most people would be suspicious.  but i remembered chris telling me about a diamond heart necklace that he had thought about getting me, but didn't at the last minute.  i thought he had just changed his mind and gotten it anyway.  i fully expected a heart-shaped pendant to be staring at me.  and before i opened it, chris told me i had to promise him something. . .

it was this.

and apparently i was being filmed the entire time and didn't notice.  but i didn't care.  and my reaction wasn't even 'yes' so much as it was 'tackle', but i think everyone could figure it out for themselves.

best christmas ever.

peace.

30 days of truth: day twenty

day twenty:  your views on drugs and alcohol.

as with many things, i am a live and let live person.

when i turned twenty-one, i tried my hardest to get super drunk.  it didn't happen and i didn't even have fun doing it, so drinking is not really my thing.  i may get a drink at a restaurant or something (last one i got was that totally sweet georgia peach thing on mine and chris's first anniversary) or if we're having a party.  basically, i don't think it's fun and eventually my head starts to hurt and i can't keep drinking something that doesn't taste good so i can't just chug hardcore stuff 'til i'm wasted. 

i was more amused by the fact that it
looked like a peach.  :D

and also, i've seen my sister drunk and i can't imagine how stumbling around the house and then throwing up in the bathroom sink constitutes fun.  (no offense mandy, i know you had an awesome time  :P)

as far as drugs go, again, live and let live.  well, with some substances anyway.  i am against hardcore drugs but it's mainly because they're super illegal.  i don't judge people that smoke weed but setting something on fire and inhaling the hot smoke doesn't seem like much fun.  and apparently it makes you really hungry and i am fat enough without having the munchies, thank you very much.

so yeah.  i may not do it but you can if you want.  just if what you want is cocaine or heroine or something, don't call me when your in jail.

peace.

a horrible wrapping blog.

just so you know, i'm the worst present wrapper in the history of ever.

they look really nice from far away.

basically, i am either a too much paper or too little paper person.  so present wrapped by me have either patches covering the parts that my too-small sheet of wrapping paper didn't cover or big bulges where i had way to much paper but couldn't be bothered to cut it off.  only two this year have holes in them that i poked by accident with my own nails, so they have tape covering the holes.  D:

i was discussing my wrapping problems with chris and about how mandy was sitting on the couch making fun of my skills, and he told me to tell her that i wrapped them with love.

conveniently enough, i DID tell mandy i wrapped them with love, but apparently love is not enough to make up for these horribly wrapped packages.

so, my wrapping excuses are:  1. wrapped with love (which mandy doesn't believe) and 2. you're going to rip it off anyway, and i doubt you're going to check for paper patch jobs and extra tape beforehand.  so ha.

in other news, christmas cards!

this one came with pictures of adorable babies and sooper
awesome people.

this is the first card ever that is to me and chris!  it excites me!
our first joint christmas card!!

i also got a card from bethany and tommy, but i didn't get a picture of it before mom taped it to our christmas card wall.  D:

so yeah.  i haven't even taken a shower yet.  i should do that soon.  but first have wrap some more presents HORRIBLY.

peace.

30 days of truth: days fifteen through nineteen

gosh, with school and bugglette's and work i've had not time to blog!  i did at least get a weekend off to spend with my dude, but still, SO BEHIND.

day fifteen:  someone or something you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without it.

i guess this would have to be my family.  i did run off to college right after high school and i think i was totally unprepared emotionally to deal with the separation.  not that i think i have to always live WITH my parents, but i would like to be in a place where they are easily accessible. 

those last few days at morehead i was so sick.  i think i had the flu or something.  and there was nobody there to help me.  at one point i tried to get somebody to take my to rite-aid to find some sort of medication to help, but nobody would go.  i called my mom and all she could tell me was to hang in there because they'd be there to get me in a couple of days.

i don't even remember much of those last days.  i was so miserable and i was up all night and that's when i realized for sure that this just wasn't working and that i just really needed to go home.

day sixteen:  someone or something you definitely could live without.

i'm sure i've mentioned this before, but i don't keep people around that aren't good for me, so there is none of this 'gosh, get out of my life!' feeling.  

the same goes for things.  if something isn't working for me, i don't just hang on to it.  if a shirt doesn't fit, i take it back.  if something doesn't work, i get rid of it.  i do admit i wasn't always like this and kept a lot of things that i didn't need.  i guess now with my dude and i making serious plans to move in together i have a better perspective since i simply *can't* take everything with me.  so i can live without the crappy drawings i did in middle school and bunch of pens and folders that don't work or are falling apart that i kept just because they used to be my favorite.  i don't need all the stuffed animals that used to keep me company when bug could use them or they could go to goodwill for another little girl to find them and love them.

basically, in my mind, it's easier to just not hold on to things that you know are going to be bad for you then to try to get rid of them later.  that goes for people and things of all kinds.

day seventeen:  a book you've read that changed your views on something.

um.

i'm not saying that i don't read to learn.  but i usually don't.  unless you count the bulbapedia.  

which you probably don't.

day eighteen:  your views on gay marriage.

go for it.

everybody else has all these religious reasons and blah blah blah, but if you ask me, if it's not hurting you or having really any affect on you at all then WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?  it's not like a bunch of gay people are gonna go get married and have a mass orgy in the streets so you have to watch it.

they're gonna get married, maybe get themselves a house and a dog and go on with their lives just like everybody else.

deal with it.

day nineteen:  what do you think of religion?  or politics?

to get this out of the way first, i know nothing about politics.  literally nothing.  i don't even mention them because i don't understand them.  and that's about it.

as far as religion, i don't have too many thoughts on it, really.  i'm not a church person but i don't have anything against the church.  in general i guess i'm just not a fan of organized religion, that's when things that should be good turn into things that are bad.  D:

i guess i'm a spiritual person, i find peace believing that there is some sort of higher power even if it's one that i don't understand or wasn't meant to understand.  and i don't need to try to make sense of it, which i think is what happens in groups, that they try to make sense of something they can't ever really understand.  and i think that's silly.

peace.

30 days of truth: day fourteen

day fourteen:  a hero who has let you down.

huh.

i got nothing.

sorry guys.  D:

here's a mudkip.

do you liek them?

peace.

30 days of truth: days twelve and thirteen

gosh, work, school and bugglette's are ruining my blogging schedule!

but i guess i must admit, it feels nice to be busy, like my days aren't being wasted.  so here we go with two more days.

day twelve:  something you never get compliments on.

well, i can't say never anymore, but it's very rare that i get compliments on how hard i work at my job.  it kinda sucks, but i guess you don't really work for that kind of reward, but it is pretty nice when it does happen.  lee, my manager at papa john's, was the first boss-like figure i have had that really went out of his way to tell me that i did so much around there that days would be harder without me.  he appreciated my hard work, and it did motivate me to work harder.  soon even customers complimented me on how i was always so helpful and courteous.  

but after lee left, it was pretty easy for me to get tired of it again and go off to find a new job.  and don't get me wrong, i totally love my job now (i'm sad i couldn't go in today because of the half-inch of ice covering our street D:), but i probably won't get the kind of thanks i got from him.  he was the best.  :3

day thirteen:  a band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.

music in general is very soothing to me.  i tend to listen to more nostalgic music when i'm having a tough day, things that remind me of a time when things weren't nearly so bad.

the goo goo dolls is my go-to band, since they are like, one of my favorite bands of all time.  but it's not just that, really.  i learned to love them along with mandy when i was in middle school.  they are the first thing the me and my big sister really had in common.  when we could hang out and listen to them and be all cool, i was finally like, 'ya know what, she doesn't suck that bad'.  :P  so being able to listen to those songs that we first loved really makes me feel better.

mandy and i about to go love us some goo last may.  :D

peace.

30 days of truth: days ten and eleven

ha, chris said i would eventually miss a day, and i did from sleepiness and working on bugglette's.  D:

day ten:  someone you need to let go of, or wish you didn't know

again, i don't hold on to people that are bad for me.  so this one is also kinda short.  though there is a girl who caused me much grief and almost got a lamp to the face who i wish i hadn't even attempted to be friends with.  i think that's really where most of my anger lies in that situation, she was mandy's friend and mandy liked her and she was at out house all the time, so i tried to be friends with her.  it turns out though that she never wanted to hang out with me and was usually mad when mandy invited me to go places with them.  

even though we're not twins like people tend to believe, we still come as a set, so you just kinda have to get over it.  :P

it also turned out that she would just hate people for no reason at all, and sometimes those people were your best friends, and she had no problem telling you that she hates them.  completely unprovoked, even.

so she's a bitch and i'm sad that i wasted my time.

day eleven:  something people seem to compliment you on the most

i wish i didn't have to go with such a physical description, but it's definitely my hair.  :B  i have at least one person a day say i have cute hair, unless of course i just stay in my house.  my hair has actually always been a huge struggle, the only mexican gene i got from my dad was this thick crazy hair that gets curly and tumbleweed shaped if i let it get to long.  

which is why in high school i finally chopped it all off.  it was a sad day.  and then i went to school the next day and people were all like 'wtfffffffffff?'  D:  

luckily now i know how to manage it's unruliness, and i'm actually growing it out again.  it's still really short, but if you look at facebook pictures from last year and then from this month, my hair is about twice as long as it used to be and it doesn't spike up anymore.

actually here, i'll do it for you.

november 2009

you can check the facebook for more recent ones, but look at my lack of hair.

it's just long enough now to poke me and the face and freak me out because i'm still not used to it being there.  

i guess i should use this space to thank my awesome hairdresser and big sister, mandy.  i guess she finally made me presentable to society.  

love you, bitch face.  :3

30 days of truth: day nine

day nine:  someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.

i guess this would be most of my high school friends.  D:

it's not that we fought or had any drama or anything, which is good.  we're just all busy people now.  school, jobs, degrees, kids.  all that takes the lead in your life sometimes.  i just hope life could calm down for all us so we could have friend time again.

peace.  

30 days of truth: day eight

day eight:  someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

this will be a short blog, i guess.

luckily i don't have anybody like that.  if somebody treats me badly, they obviously aren't worth my time and are promptly removed from all my thoughts.  i don't need the drama or the stress.

peace.

finally new buttons blog!

sorry it's taken forever!  but here are three new button bracelets.  :D

a brown and blue.  not a color scheme i would personally wear, but a lot of people do like it.  so yeah.

back side.  

slytherin colors!  hogwarts pride!

i wish i could charge extra for this one just because it pissed me off so much.  D:<

gryffindor colors!  more hogwarts pride!

i think this one is my favorite of the three.

and just so you don't think we are so slow at making these, we have made more than three since the last post,  but i only post the ones that i made to my blog.  i think mandy has made about three, too.

i have another half finished bracelet in the button box.  apparently i was working in very poor lighting, and chris kindly pointed out that some of the buttons i picked out that i thought were black (for my lovely black and gold bracelet) were actually blue.  so i have to pull about four blue buttons off the bracelet, go back over any other buttons that may have been connected to the offending blue button, and replace it with something else.

basically it pissed me off.  so i threw it in the button box and have been ignoring it for about two days.  so yeah.

we have about nine bracelets strictly for our inventory, once we get to twenty we plan to start selling, probably in the fifteen to twenty dollar range.  any opinions?

peace.

30 days of truth: day seven

day seven:  somebody who has made your life worth living.

this is kind of an odd question to me, it makes it sound like without a certain person, my life *wasn't* worth living.  i've always had something to live for, but now there is a person who makes me want to live my life along side theirs.

and i'm sure they know who they are.  but if they don't. . .

his name is christopher waits.  he came from the internet and changed my whole world.  

before him i used to try to imagine what it would be like to have somebody who really did love me, what it would be like to walk around holding somebodies hand, and what it would be like to tell people about the amazing adventures that i have with the man i love.

and it has been so much more amazing than i ever imagined.  he keeps me warm when i'm cold, he makes me laugh when i'm sad.  he can even make my happy when i'm trying my best to be angry.  he's the one who picks me and all of my pieces up when i feel like the world is falling apart.

and of course, you can't forget our amazing adventures.

yeah.  you wish you were there to find that super onion.  but you weren't.  you can go cry now.

yes, all of our awesome adventures are just like this.  but i love it.  i love 'oops, wrong way down a one-way street' adventures like our first valentines day.  and i love 'slipping and sliding through a hotel parking lot while trying to get some snacks from the gas station' adventures like we had on our first anniversary.  i love 'trapped in the mall because chris locked the keys in the truck' adventures.  i love 'trying to put a futon together because we finally broke the bed' adventures.  i love 'we don't really have enough money but dammit we're going to gen-con anyway' adventures.  i love 'it's 3 am, lets go to wal-mart' adventures.  and i especially love 'i don't feel like doing anything but being lazy with you today, lets just stay in our pajamas and do nothing at all' adventures.

as long as i'm with him, it's always an adventure.

i love you, chris.

peace.

30 days of truth: day six

day six:  something you hope you never have to do.

my brain automatically goes to the death of a loved one.  but everybody hopes they never have to say goodbye.

- i hope i never had to say goodbye too soon.  i feel i have a good grasp of death, i can be sad but understand.  i don't think i would have a handle on accidents or the things i see on investigation discovery.  D:

- i hope i never do anything to hurt my relationship with my family.  we have overcome the stupid things i've done in life so far, so i hope we can always overcome.

- i hope i never have to sacrifice my education.  i let it go before for the money, i don't want to do it again.

- i hope i never have to come to the realization that i'm on the wrong path with my education.  there's only one thing i want to do and hopefully i can earn a living from it.

- i hope i am never labeled a bad wife or bad mother.  that would be the worst.

peace.

30 days of truth: day five

day five:  something you hope to do in your life.

there's too many.  i'm gonna pull an amber and go with a list.

- i hope to get the college degree that i'm working towards.

- i hope to marry the man of my dreams (who is currently sitting beside me watching 'dexter' with big 'oooooh' eyes).

- i hope i can be an awesome wife!  the kind that has food on the table that isn't burnt.

- i hope to be able to make a living doing something creative (you all should be looking out for 'bugglettes' sometime next year.  out inventory is pretty sweet.

so yeah.  hopes.  all pretty standard.  long lasting love, a nice career and to make food that isn't burnt.

peace.

30 days of truth: day four

day four:  something you have to forgive someone for.

this is harder than i thought.  i'd like to say i don't hold grudges.  at least not to the point that they affect my life or that of anybody else.

there was a boy i met a few years ago named shawn.  i don't even remember his last name.  

i can't say i actually forgive him, since he took something for me that somebody else actually deserved.

i don't forgive him.  but i can admit now that it wasn't entirely his fault.  even though i can't forgive him, i can take responsibility and know that without both of us that couldn't have happened.

i shouldn't have let my self-worth rest in the hands of somebody else.  i shouldn't have put myself out there the way i did.  and i shouldn't have convinced myself that he really did want to be with me and that that made it all right.  

i should have said no.  i should have punched him in the fucking face.

so no, i don't really forgive him.  but he's not this horrible black hate tumor in my soul anymore.  he was just a mistake.  and we all make mistakes.

peace.

more buttons blog!

most of these are for our 'inventory'.  but i thought i'd share some more of my button-y handiwork!

look how tiny!  this one i made for bug today.  the picture is kinda crappy, but it's got a few teddy bears on it.

bug wearin' her new bracelet.

i made bugs little bracelet in the image of this one, which was supposed to go in our 'inventory' (this one was named 'strawberries and cream'), but it was so pretty i decided to keep it!  i'll recreate it later though, i think mandy may even have ordered some actual strawberry buttons today anyway.

for our 'inventory'.  mandy named if 'mocha frappe'.

finished my work in progress from last night.  mandy didn't think it'd be very cool, but i knew it'd be super cute!  it's supposed to be lady bugs in the grass and the yellow buttons are the flowers. . . 

i get it.  and that's all that matters.

peace.

30 days of truth: day three

day three:  something you have to forgive yourself for.

one of my biggest regrets for a really long time was dropping out of college the semester after i started.  i had my reasons.  mainly, i knew that my family couldn't afford it.  secondly, i had i had no idea what i really wanted to do with my life, so i felt i was wasting my time and my parents money blindly taking classes with no sort of direction.  i felt even worse as my high school friends began to graduate from college.  i wish i had just stuck it out, maybe if i'd have given it more time i would have found something i really loved and could have a diploma in had just like the rest of my friends.

my dad actually gave the permission to forgive myself before he even brought me home.  i was on the phone with him.  we weren't even talking about it at first, but i was thinking about it.  finally, i just sort of blurted out, 'are you mad at me?'

and he said no.  he said if he had had the chance to go off and try something new, that he would have done it, too.  he told that if i knew it wasn't for me, i should come home.

and a huge weight lifted off my shoulders at that moment.  i still had my regrets, but i knew it would be alright. and i can forgive myself and be proud of my decision because i absolutely love my life!  every decision you make leaves you with a bunch of 'what ifs' in your head.  'what if i'd stayed?  what would my life be like if i hadn't left?'  well, i may be more educated, may have a better job, but i'd have missed out on so many amazing people and experiences i've had since then.  i may have missed out on my dude, who is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  i'd have missed out on bug's birthdays and getting up and walking and learning to call mandy 'sister' instead of mandy.  and i'd rather have this life than any other i could think of!  

so whether or not it was a good or bad decision, it was one that i made, no going back.  but i am more than happy with the results.

peace.

a blog of buttons!

literally spent all day making button bracelets.  i just took a shower about half an hour ago (about 9:00 pm, maybe a little earlier).  just wanted to show you some of them so i don't crowd up my facebook with pictures of buttons.  :3

this bracelet is made out of really old buttons.  they all came from my grandpas shirts and some were even collected by my great grandmother.  i'm glad we finally found a use for them instead of just letting them sit around.  only about 5 buttons on this bracelet are new.

i'm sending this one to a friend who may or may not read this blog so it may or may not be a surprise!  she's having her first baby and the room is done in teal and purple.  it's so awesome!  when i saw how many of these colors we had i couldn't not make one!  

the big teal button!

a cluster of little buttons and two little purple hearts!  i really like this one!  :D

yes, these are really ugly on the inside if you use colored thread.  this is my night sky bracelet to use up the last couple of star beads i had left.

i think it's pretty cool, anyway.

oh and also you can wear them!  i've been so busy sewing them i kinda forgot about them being, ya know, fashion accessories and not just piles and piles of buttons.

also, the word 'button' sounds really funny to me now.  i bet i've said button a million times today.  for realsies.

peace.

30 days of truth: day two

day two:  something you love about yourself.

i'll have to agree with amber today and say my ability to craft!

well, i guess since i am an art student, i'd have to say i'm pretty proud of my artistic abilities in general.  i love to draw (even though i haven't been doing as much actual drawing as i used too. . .), i love to paint (have you seen my new owl painting!?  it's a few blogs back if you haven't!), i love to just make things in general.

i love it when i see something in a store and think to myself, 'i could make that.'

mandy and i share the craft gene.  we inherited it from our mother, who used to make hair accessories and such from feathers and whatnots back in the seventies.  she also made me a kick ass hat in fifth grade that one me some sort of prize.  it's just in our blood.

as far as creative efforts today, i finished my knives scarf.  it measures in at 155 inches.  it is so long!  i thought with it being that skinny it wouldn't be that warm, but to keep it off the ground you have to wrap it around your neck about three times!

also, mandy saw the girls at work wearing button bracelets, so we had to learn to make those.  the three of us went on a button shopping spree today.  luckily we found the clearance buttons at hancock fabrics, ninety percent off!  i got like eight sets of buttons for $1.16.

    obviously i didn't take this  picture.  you can tell by the christmas nails.  but i did sew this button bracelet!

so yeah.  if i couldn't make all the things i do, i'd go insane from boredom.  expect a massive picture upload tomorrow of me (and possibly mandy) modeling my knives scarf.

peace.

30 days of truth: day one

i saw my dear friend amber doing this, and based on some of the questions i have to say that she is very brave to attempt it!  so i decided that i would try to be brave, too.  not only that, but it's a great writing exercise really, i hope it will get me back into blogging more frequently like i did a few years ago.  

day one:  something you hate about yourself.

this is probably going to sound very strange.  i admit it right now.  but honestly, i am just genuinely a nice person. i really am.  i don't like to hurt peoples feeling.  i don't like to start fights.  i don't like to cause trouble.  you'd think that would make you a desirable human being, that these traits would be valued.  i've learned more in my adult life that these niceties cause me to get trampled on more than they help me out.

one of my co-workers at papa john's would always tell me that she didn't understand how i could stay so calm and sound so nice to the people that i talked to on the phone, knowing that these people are total jerk, have cussed at me, yelled at me and basically called me stupid when they are the ones that can't understand how coupons work or do some simple math every now and then.  she told me that someday she thought i would just explode.

and sometimes i feel like that.

i guess i did have one total explosive meltdown.  only one, though.  mandy claims she thought i was going to throw a lamp that was quite near to me.  it's horrible that a person could push you to that amount of rage while being entirely aware of how mean, bitchy and inconsiderate they're being.  (please don't ask about this story, it still makes me really angry to think about it.)

i can show my emotions to the people closest to me, but when it comes to standing up for myself in some sort of public arena, like at work, i can't do it.  i don't want to cause a scene.  in fact, the closest i've come to defending myself and explaining to someone how they treated me was wrong was when i quit at claire's.  i got everything out of my system, that i felt i was treated unfairly and that as long as i'd been there and as hard as i worked that i deserved better than what i was getting.  i got my point across, still in a pretty calm nice-person way.

and then i felt horrible about it, because i'd hurt my managers feeling.  logic told me that i didn't have anything to feel bad about, but i couldn't help it.  and i hate that feeling.  i get tired of feeling it.

i haven't worked in almost a week at spencer's.  i could have stayed longer at papa john's, but i couldn't bring myself to tell anybody that i just hated my job and wanted to get out of there as fast as i could.  i didn't want them to think i felt i was too good for their job, so i just put in my weeks notice so i could just have a break.

so i guess it's not that i'm a nice person, i hate that it gets in the way of me standing up for myself when i really need to.  i just don't know how you can really work on that kind of problem.  

short of practicing being a bitch, i guess.

i can imagine myself practicing bitching myself out in the mirror.  i giggled a little bit.  even i know that is never gonna happen.

peace.

a crafty blog.

since i'm still training at spencer's and also waiting to hear back from some other places i put applications in at the mall, i've had a few days of free time (and a few more to come!), so i've been doing a lot of creative crafty things to fill my empty days.

first is the knives scarf i mentioned a few posts back. i had actually made pieces of it that i was going to sew together at the end, and i had made them really wide since i figured i'm a big girl and i need a big scarf. well, those pieces were really heavy and since i wanted this scarf to hit over 100 inches, i figured it wasn't very practical. so i unraveled those pieces and started a skinny scarf. it's about half the width of the first pieces i made and more true to the style in the movie. i'm already at 55 inches, but i ran out of black in the middle of a segment so i had to stop for the night.

i think it looks pretty good, it's already as long as some scarves that i own, but if you've seen scott pilgrim vs. the world (the knives vs. ramona fight, specifically), her scarf is WAY LONG. 100 inches still might not be the exact length of hers, but i think if i go any longer it'll just be annoying to wear.

trying to show the length. it's laid out over the armchair in my room. my hook is still attached to the end so i don't lose it. :P

i've also started a new painting. it actually happened by accident. i was actually painting on a pink and purple striped background i had made, and i thought i could freehand a cartoon kitty in that blue color. and guess what? couldn't do it. so i just repainted the whole thing blue. that's when i decided on the random sky/cloud theme.

there's the girly owl. when it was just the light purple base with none of the details, chris asked me if i was painting a fat batman and it hurt my feelings. D:

close up of the owl. yes, she looks very soul-less and dead at the moment. her eyes will be painted slightly smaller than the purple circles marking them so they'll have that dark outline. and yes, she'll have feet in the future. i also have this awesome glow in the dark paint that chris gave me, so it may have random glowing things. and possibly a rainbow. it's kiddy-style storybook type scene, so i think a rainbow is perfectly acceptable. but we'll see.

so yeah. crafty stuff.

peace.

a post-thanksgiving blog.

so as i'm sure you can tell, i'm late again in reporting anything of value. thanksgiving came and went, it was awesome but made my tummy hurt with all the food-ness.

my awesome thanksgiving crimp. :D

following thanksgiving was BLACK FRIDAY MADNESS, in which myself, my dude and his mom decided it would be a good idea to freeze our collective asses off outside of sam's club at 3:30 am to get my baby a new laptop. luckily, we did get our frozen fingers on a pretty sweet laptop, but we only got to warm up for about ten minutes before we were off again.

standing in line outside in the cold. we look like snow monsters.

but let us back up for a moment, and relive my SNOW TERRORS.

my dude picked me up at my house at about 10-ish, and we actually left at about 11-ish (had to fill himself with our tasty thanksgiving leftovers, om nom nom!) and as we were leaving there was definitely something invisible and frozen falling from the sky. as we traveled, these invisible frozen somethings grew and grew until they were giant fat snowflakes. these snow flakes were already freaking me out, since when you drive through giant snow it looks like what i call (and what chris called also, which surprised me) 'warp speed', where it looks like white lines coming at you as you travel through SPACE.

now my dude already knows how i just can't see things the way he does (literally, due to extremely fucked-up vision), so he checked on me to make sure i wasn't going to turn into 'a big ball of OH NOES!' i told him i was probably fine. as we traveled down the interstate and street lights became more and more scarce, i became more and more afraid. we were traveling slower than normal, which seem perfectly logical to me due to the conditions, but everyone else around us thought it was a bright sunny day and proceeded to zoom around us. which was fine by me. as long as they crashed far enough ahead of us that chris could stop.

so we're traveling down the interstate at about 40 miles per hour. closer to shelbyville, we hit a construction area (that has been there for like a million years and is still apparently being worked on) and were forced into one lane with these barriers on either side of us. again with no street lights. so all i can see is snow and darkness. if i could have rolled into a comfy fetal position i would have done so. we slowed down to like, 25 miles per hour though here. if the car behind us was pissed he didn't show it. but i'm sure he was. chris is trying to talk to me to calm me down, i guess. i wasn't outwardly freaking out, but had successfully turned into that big ball of OH NOES. all i could do was stare wide-eyed at the giant frozen snow coming at me at warp speed with no idea if there was anything else around us at all.

once we made it back into civilization i was fine. we did have to fight the giant snows through the wal-mart parking lot. it was like the snow was punching us right in the face. punching us with it's frozen crystals of fury. i was all sad panda. for reals.

and of course after that it never snowed again and all traces of the snow were gone by morning.

my dude and i spent way to much money, but i got quite a bit of christmas done, so it's all good. even a special christmas surprise for the buglette, we found and awesome zhu zhu pets castle for her that apparently wasn't even supposed to be on the floor yet, but we got one so yay! got mandy an awsome waffle maker which makes the most awesome fat-ass waffles in EVER. have you ever had a fat-ass chocolate chip waffle? if you haven't then you haven't lived.

that's about all the thanksgiving stuff. in other news i spent the most awesome lazy day ever yesterday with chris. it was spent doing nothing while waiting to be able to play video games. then playing video games. then doing some more nothing. there was also a lot of snuggling thrown in there. nothing better than a good winter time snuggle. :3

also, i'm painting a large and rather cartoon-y painting of an owl and some clouds. more info as that gets more painted.

some clouds. an owl outline has since been added.

and i guess that's all for now. get on that christmas shopping if you haven't already, you're running out of time.

peace.

a photo.

a photo i took of bug today at freeman lake. a little editing, i think it looks nice.

pre-thanksgiving bloggity.

i know it must be coming, since there is a rock-hard turkey taking up a great deal of counter space as it tries it's best to thaw out before thursday. i guess i'm pretty stoked about thanksgiving this year, for two reasons:

1. last day at at papa johns! (to be explained later in this blog)

and

2. not a giant ball of pain this year! yays!

so yeah, i got a new job. gonna work holiday time at spencer's in towne mall. i was told i'd be able to stay on as a regular part-timer after january, so it's pretty sweet. my goal though is to find another part-time job in the mall and just hang out there all day. i think it'd work out pretty well as long as i could coordinate my days off at both places so that they'd be the same day. that way i could have my dude time. cuz i totally heart my dude time. :D

(blog interrupted by work time!)

now back. oh, how i will absolutely NOT miss taking those phone orders. i will never long for the day of somebody asking about our specials, even though they've been listening to a recording of our specials for the past five minutes. i will not miss the really nice old ladies, who are really really nice, but obviously have a hearing problem because they can't keep from yelling at me. and i certainly will not miss every single caller telling me about how they'd like to order some pizza. IS PIZZA WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?? ARE YOU SURE? YOU DID CALL A PIZZA PLACE AFTER ALL.

every time somebody says that i want to respond with, 'no. no pizza for you.'

gosh i had so much planned for this blog before i had to go to work.

now all i can think about is pizza and phones. damn you, papa johns.

oh well. maybe more bloggy later.

peace.

oh blogger.

i was actually shopping around for a different blog service, blogger. because whenever i try to put picture on you, you just piss me off and make me bang on my keyboard in anger. and i can't keep doing that blogger, my 'q' is already just a tiny little button, i can't afford to lose any more keys.

but everyone else seem to make you work and they don't appear to be filled with horrible rage, so i'm giving you another chance.

anyway, a bunch of stuff has probably happened since the last time i blogged. halloween being the biggest, but if you follow me on facebook you've seen all my halloween madness. but just because it makes me giggle still, he is my favorites dudes halloween costume:

yes, i know you are jealous of my gorgeous hunk of man in the underwear. but he it mine. you back off. :3

also, i did a million halloween looks just for fun. i actually wish i had done more. i still have a wig i didn't even get to use! but it also needs to be cut, my wig is in an ugly shape that is not all like the picture on the package. i need to get it trimmed up. i got it for an awesome cheshire cat tutorial and then never got around to doing it. D:

so yeah. that's about it.

i have an interview at spencer's tomorrow. i'm so excited. i can dress cute and stock all the adult toys and giggle madly to myself if i get this job. it would be so cool. :D

speaking of adult toys, i have nothing against them but some of them do look REALLY PAINFUL and not fun at all. seriously. go to spencer's and look. some of them will make you hurt inside just by looking at them.

oh well. to each there own and whatnot.

anyway, i hope to be posting some artsy and craftsy stuff on here real soon. i'm in the process of making a really sooper long and cozy black and white scarf like knives wears at the chaos theater in my new favorite movie scott pilgrim vs. the world.

just like this. only mine is all a crocheted and much wider, since i'm not a tiny chinese girl and a scarf that skinny would look like i'd wrapped thread around my neck. also, i love her hair. i want hair like knives chau.

i've also made two hats just for fun. well, one is just for fun, i made it my size but am never going to wear it, then i made a small bug sized one to put in her christmas stocking. if i can get some more yarn and some time before then i want to make her a little scarf, too. but we'll see on that one.

but i guess that's all from my random life right now bloggy. except for that dream i had when my hand was broken and i was trying to call my dad while chris took me to the hospital. but other than that it wasn't that interesting of a dream. so yeah.

peace.