dress size? don't care! :D

i had chris measure me for my wedding dress the other night.

i knew i wouldn't be happy during this process, there are some things i just don't want to know. . .i almost told him not to show me. . .but i keep telling myself to remember how far i've come, not how far i still have to go. . .

i know my whole seven followers probably get tired of hearing about my weight.  but you have to remember this has been a huge challenge in my life and i finally feel like i'm winning!  i've been maintaining my weight lately, and while i would like to lose more purely for health reasons, if i never lost another pound. . .

I WOULD BE HAPPY.

i can put on almost anything i want and look cute.  when i go out in public i feel like i have a nice confident stride now, i'm never wondering what people think about me or if i'm jiggling or if people see me as a big ol' hippo or something.

if they see me as a hippo, i can guarantee you i'm the cutest hippo they've seen all day!

told you.

and if they don't like the clothes i have on, then their lucky they don't have to wear them!

i rock the polar bear while stocking baby diapers.
wanna fight about it?

anyway, back to these numbers.

the last time i measured my own waist was for my prom dress in 2004.  at seventeen years old i had a 52 inch waist.  how i survived, i do not know.

and i cried.  i cried over that dress.  when that dress arrived i was so terrified it wasn't going to fit. . .i thought i was way to fat and too ugly to find a dress to wear to prom and that i shouldn't go and i don't have a date because i'm so fat and ugly. . .

but guess what?  in that dress with my hair done and my make-up rocking and with my 52 inch waist, that night in that limo i felt like a motherfucking princess.  :D

see?  that number didn't matter at all.  it's just a number.  this is what i got, and i'm gonna make it work.

for those of you curious, my waist this time around was 44 inches, that's eight inches down around my waist and about 4 dress sizes.  and if i'm still at that size when it's time to walk down that aisle, then i'll rock it.  and if i'm a little bit smaller than i'll have that dress nipped and tucked and it will just be delicious tasty icing on the cake of my day.

peace.

bloggy face lift!

yes, it's true!  i decided i want to get some blogging done, and i was tired of looking at my old blog (even though it was still pretty cool and i was very proud of it!).  so here's a nice simple theme to hold me over until i mess with it some more.

how goes it in the life of tiffers, you ask?

or you don't ask but i imagine you do in my head?

first off:  50 POUNDS LOST IN ONE YEAR.  how about them apples (them tasty, tasty apples)!?

on our three year anniversary.  <3

it's amazing.  it's like a stopped carrying a travel safe or something.  i can't imagine picking it up again.  and i'm also down about 3 dress sizes.  it's great!  i love it!  

on the down side, i'm sort of plateauing at the moment.  i'm stuck in the 243 - 240 range.  and i want to lose more before the wedding in october!  my treadmill has about had it, but i'm trying to convince chris to take walks with me outside since kentucky finally gifted us with spring weather (after trying to level us with tornadoes).

in other tiffers news:  guess who has two thumbs and is developing anxiety issues just like everybody else on both sides of her family?  this lady!

i went to the urgent care clinic because i kept having these random chest pains and my heart kept beating fast for seeming no reason.  got hooked up for an EKG and was having tiny palpitations, which the doctor who treated me told me he might be concerned about if i was 65, but not at 25.  so then she asked 'what's going on your life?  any stress?'

let's see:

failing several classes.

almost getting kicked out of school.

working overnights and not getting any sleep.

having a day off and sleeping all day because i haven't slept in 4 days.

bosses are bitches with super high expectations for one normal individual.

planning a wedding.

paying for a wedding.

no money no money no money.

keeping my grades up.

not going off on a member of management who wants 12 hours worth of work done in 8.

trying not to be a fatty.

no.  i don't see any stress here.

i left with 20 anxiety pills.

i haven't taken any.  which she told me a lot of her patients rarely take them, with mild anxiety just knowing you have them can be enough to keep the anxiety at bay.  so i keep them in my purse just in case i need them.

i make chris laugh, though,  i was reading the little pamphlet about all the side effects and told him i was scared to take them.

chris:  it's an ANXIETY PILL.  you're too scared to take it.  take one and you'll feel better, that's what it's for!

so yes, anxious tiffers waits anxiously instead of taking her anxiety medication. 

but it's all good.  i haven't had any problems since.

that's the current life of tiffers.

have a picture of my wedding dress, i should be ordering it in the next few days.

peace.

i can't wait to walk down the aisle in this!  <3

hello again bloggy.

i want to be a blogger again.  

since the last time i blogged at you, i haven't gotten much done on the 'changing schools' front.

as i looked more deeply into my school finances, it looks like i'd have to pay this school some amount of money before they will release my transcripts to other schools.  probably because i've been doing so poorly lately.  i did pass my last class though!  barely, but i made it!

my next class is finally getting back into art and illustration.  i hope that this upcoming class will revive my artistic side because i miss it.  i miss doodling in the margins of papers.  i miss painting just to paint.  i miss drawing and erasing and drawing again until it turns into something i'm happy with.  i still love crafting and such, but it's not the same.  i dunno, random depressed artist paragraph, i suppose.

in other news, according to my phone, i am getting married in about 8 months.  hooray!  what do i have for this wedding.  NOTHING.  nothing at all.  not even a list.  i've picked out my dress, but i'm not ordering it yet.  and that's about it.  this is getting hard.  i've tried three times to just figure out who's going to show up for this thing, but everyone falls into three categories:

1.  people who will show up;

2.  family who you have to invite as a courtesy, but that probably won't come.

3.  friends and family that say they are coming, but you just have a nagging feeling that they won't.

this makes things very difficult, especially when it comes to planning you know, how to feed them and seat them and such.  sigh.  luckily i have a lot of people who want to help, so i guess i just need to put them to work!

i cannot wait for my wedding.  i picture it everyday.  i imagine my dad walking me down the aisle and a nice little intimate group of people and music and laughing and i know it's going to be amazing no matter if some people are standing up or if we all only get a bite of cake.

peace.

too much stuff blog.

don't have time to do all the things i want, including blog.  it depresses me a bit, and maybe my my six followers as well.  :P

anyway, i spend all my time working in hell and studying in hell and then hopefully sleeping.  the pay is alright at least, but i don't think anyone actually knows how to run my department, or else they just can't agree on one way and stick with it.  it's hard to do a job when three-ish people are telling you three-ish different ways to handle the same problem.

also i need to see my dude way more often.  not that i don't see him, cuz i do, but we have some serious wedding planning that needs to go on.  i know we still have about a year, but that's really not a long time apparently.  mom offered to buy us our plates and little party favors and such, but we don't even know how many people will be there yet, and that sort of list making definitely requires both of us to be together for a few hours with both of us awake!

i thought i had decided on a dress, though.  then i fell in love with another hand-made dress on etsy, only to find out that the fabric it's made from is discontinued, so i would have to order it now to be sure to have it.  problem is i'm still losing about one to two pounds a week, sometimes as many as four (and sometimes none at all), so there is no way for me to know what size to order that dress. . .i could have it altered, but i don't want to pay for dress stuff twice. . .

my plan on that front is to continues weight watchers in 'lose' mode until about august of next year, order the dress at whatever size i am then (it takes a month or so to get it, it's hand-made and comes from new zealand), and then go into 'maintain' mode until after the wedding.  

this is the one i want, but that polka dot tulle apparently won't be made forever, and that's my favorite part!  but all the wedding dresses she makes are beautiful, all fifties retro. . .so cool!  pop a pill box hat with cool short veil and i'll be set!

the shop is here if anybody is interested:  http://www.etsy.com/shop/PixiePocket?ref=seller_info

my future brother-in-law is getting married this weekend, so i also got a cutesy dress for that!  i love to dress up, plus it's a nice big family event so it should be cool.  chris and i are responsible for the rice krispie treats for dipping in the chocolate fountain.  was that a great decision?  we shall see. . .

anyway, it's like seven a.m. and my dude should be waking up to go to work soon, so maybe i can see him for a bit!  plus i wanna try to hit the treadmill this morning before i go to bed (stupid third shift job. . .)

peace.

a wedding list post!

finally set my wedding date for october 20th, 2012!  this is more of a reminder to myself of prices, things i need, things i like and all sorts of other stuff that i need to remember but if i write it on a piece of paper, i will lose it!  and it's here for everybody to see, so you can plan my wedding with me!

VENUE:

set and free!  my wedding will take place in my parent's huge back yard, so right after chris and i are all wed we will just turn around and party!  just don't upset the goat.  D:

DRESS:

still looking!  i want to stay under $200 for a dress, which i think may be pretty low, but i'm looking for a summer-y fall-y autumn-y type dress, cuz it will probably still be a little warm.  tea-length is the proper term.  here are my favorites so far:

$136.00

$94.00

$110.00

i'm leaning towards the bottom one, the only thing is i wanted a cute retro pillbox hat, and i don't know that i can find one to match since it has like a lace overlay thing going on.

i'm also worried about what size to get a dress, since i want to have it early (obviously!).  my goal size by my wedding was actually a sixteen, but i'm already down to eighteen and i have over a year to go!  so who knows!  if i keep going the way i have been, losing about 6 or 7 pounds a month, i could lose another 90 or so pounds!!!  i guess i'll just have to wait!

NAPKINS:

we didn't want to waste money on fancy dining ware, but chris and i were thinking of doing the monogram napkin thing.  we'd have regular ones too, maybe just a hundred or so mainly as souvenirs.  just something sort of cutesy, but they are WAY more expensive then i thought they would be.  i mean, some people are gonna keep them, but a lot of people are going to wipe their faces with them and throw them away.

*sigh*






the leaf ones are obviously more theme appropriate for a fall wedding, but they're soooooo boring.  i like the mr. and mrs. ones, though.  :3

more to come soon!

peace.