this scale, yo.

i know i just gave you guys the 'scale doesn't matter, i'm awesome' spiel, but. . .

DAMN THIS POUND STRAIGHT TO HELL.

i've been gaining and losing the same pound for the last month, i swear i hate it.  if this pound had a face i would punch it.  then maybe put some cement shoes on it and throw it in the river.

part of my problem (and i'm not blaming him at all because i know he's gonna read this) is that my favorite dude has way more points than me and can eat a lot more at a time and can have a larger variety of food.  the other part of my problem is that i have little self control over when it comes to things i really want to eat.  which sometimes means that if we have a particularly delicious dinner that is healthier than usual, i go for a second helping without feeling bad even if i don't have the points.  then later i feel guilty because even though the food we made was a way better choice than it used to be, i still didn't need that much and just ate it because it was good.  

another problem is snacks.  we have pretty healthy snacks.  we got a big ol' box of fiber one brownies at sams's (3 pts) and a big ol' box of crunch honey oat bars (2 in a pack, 5 pts for both) and string cheese (1.5 pts each).  not too bad.  so if i feel snacky i go grab one of those. . .or a brownie and a string cheese. . .or a pack of granola bars and a string cheese. . .or maybe a brownie and an apple and two string cheeses. . .

why can't i just grab one!?  one just doesn't seem like enough in my mind, and when we first started all this, one was plenty!

in my mind i want to just say 'no snacks, just fruit!'.  but i can't because chris *can* have snacks and it's not fair to him to get rid of them because i can't control myself with them.  there are some things (like cereal) that are point-y but chris has the points to have it and if i want cereal it's a big deal (60 pts vs 39 pts).  it's hard that we're so far apart on the food scale but we have to eat the same snacks and meals.  

sometimes i'm a little jealous that chris can eat more. . .and that feeling makes me want more food!!

i don't think you ever actually stop being an emotional eater (which i definitely am), you just have to learn to cope with it.

hopefully one i get on days at work i'll at least have a better food schedule.  it's really had for me to start my day as far as points go.  i don't know if i should start when i get home from work or when i wake up, but sometimes i go right to sleep and sometimes i stay up and it's just this really weird schedule and sometimes i've been running all over walmart for eight hours and i'm just so hungry. . .grr.  i hate it.

but just because i'm mad doesn't mean i'm discouraged!  i've done fifty pound, i can do more!

plus i have a super hero on my side!

(i know i just complained about him, but he tries to keep me on track.) 

peace.