the dreadmill.

i hate treadmills.

but my weight has been really jumpy lately, and i don't like it.  i would like to lose about 15 more pounds before the wedding, which would put me at 65 pounds lost.

my treadmill buddy and my food diary.

i totally lost all sense of food tracking there for awhile.  i'm trying to get back on it, but it's still only a few days out of the week, it's slowly getting better though.

not only do i want to lose more before the wedding in october, but mandy and i would like to participate in the color run, probably not this year, but hopefully next year, so i want to learn to run!

it's the happiest 5k on the planet!

can you believe we want to participate in a 5k!?!  I CAN'T.

i know even if i treadmill till next year i won't be able to run a 5k, but i may be able to jog a 5k or speedwalk a 5k.  there are pictures of people way bigger than us having just as much fun as the people running!  i just want to say i've done it!

today i ran/jogged about 2 minutes on the treadmill.  it's the first time i've ever tried.  i was only on about fifteen minutes, but i tried to jog (hands off the bars and everything!) about 15-20 seconds of ever song i listened to.  the longest i went was 30 seconds, and when i got down to the 10 second countdown to the end of my treadmill time i bumped it up again.  i feel really good right now, but i am a little more sweaty than usual.  D:

so we'll see how it goes!  my goal is just a pound this week, and to track everyday, even when i'm bad!  (gonna try super hard not to be bad, though.)

next goal is to get on my bike once i move to days.  i need to get the tires aired back up and try to scrub some of the rust off the gear shift (not that care about gears).  if i have fun with the bike and ride it somewhat regularly, i'm gonna save up for a bike that i really like, rather than the yard sale bike sitting by the front porch.

fell in love with this bike today at work.
$150 that i don't have, though.  D:

baby steps, though.  baby steps to maybe a super cute bike.  :D

peace.

this scale, yo.

i know i just gave you guys the 'scale doesn't matter, i'm awesome' spiel, but. . .

DAMN THIS POUND STRAIGHT TO HELL.

i've been gaining and losing the same pound for the last month, i swear i hate it.  if this pound had a face i would punch it.  then maybe put some cement shoes on it and throw it in the river.

part of my problem (and i'm not blaming him at all because i know he's gonna read this) is that my favorite dude has way more points than me and can eat a lot more at a time and can have a larger variety of food.  the other part of my problem is that i have little self control over when it comes to things i really want to eat.  which sometimes means that if we have a particularly delicious dinner that is healthier than usual, i go for a second helping without feeling bad even if i don't have the points.  then later i feel guilty because even though the food we made was a way better choice than it used to be, i still didn't need that much and just ate it because it was good.  

another problem is snacks.  we have pretty healthy snacks.  we got a big ol' box of fiber one brownies at sams's (3 pts) and a big ol' box of crunch honey oat bars (2 in a pack, 5 pts for both) and string cheese (1.5 pts each).  not too bad.  so if i feel snacky i go grab one of those. . .or a brownie and a string cheese. . .or a pack of granola bars and a string cheese. . .or maybe a brownie and an apple and two string cheeses. . .

why can't i just grab one!?  one just doesn't seem like enough in my mind, and when we first started all this, one was plenty!

in my mind i want to just say 'no snacks, just fruit!'.  but i can't because chris *can* have snacks and it's not fair to him to get rid of them because i can't control myself with them.  there are some things (like cereal) that are point-y but chris has the points to have it and if i want cereal it's a big deal (60 pts vs 39 pts).  it's hard that we're so far apart on the food scale but we have to eat the same snacks and meals.  

sometimes i'm a little jealous that chris can eat more. . .and that feeling makes me want more food!!

i don't think you ever actually stop being an emotional eater (which i definitely am), you just have to learn to cope with it.

hopefully one i get on days at work i'll at least have a better food schedule.  it's really had for me to start my day as far as points go.  i don't know if i should start when i get home from work or when i wake up, but sometimes i go right to sleep and sometimes i stay up and it's just this really weird schedule and sometimes i've been running all over walmart for eight hours and i'm just so hungry. . .grr.  i hate it.

but just because i'm mad doesn't mean i'm discouraged!  i've done fifty pound, i can do more!

plus i have a super hero on my side!

(i know i just complained about him, but he tries to keep me on track.) 

peace.

too much stuff blog.

don't have time to do all the things i want, including blog.  it depresses me a bit, and maybe my my six followers as well.  :P

anyway, i spend all my time working in hell and studying in hell and then hopefully sleeping.  the pay is alright at least, but i don't think anyone actually knows how to run my department, or else they just can't agree on one way and stick with it.  it's hard to do a job when three-ish people are telling you three-ish different ways to handle the same problem.

also i need to see my dude way more often.  not that i don't see him, cuz i do, but we have some serious wedding planning that needs to go on.  i know we still have about a year, but that's really not a long time apparently.  mom offered to buy us our plates and little party favors and such, but we don't even know how many people will be there yet, and that sort of list making definitely requires both of us to be together for a few hours with both of us awake!

i thought i had decided on a dress, though.  then i fell in love with another hand-made dress on etsy, only to find out that the fabric it's made from is discontinued, so i would have to order it now to be sure to have it.  problem is i'm still losing about one to two pounds a week, sometimes as many as four (and sometimes none at all), so there is no way for me to know what size to order that dress. . .i could have it altered, but i don't want to pay for dress stuff twice. . .

my plan on that front is to continues weight watchers in 'lose' mode until about august of next year, order the dress at whatever size i am then (it takes a month or so to get it, it's hand-made and comes from new zealand), and then go into 'maintain' mode until after the wedding.  

this is the one i want, but that polka dot tulle apparently won't be made forever, and that's my favorite part!  but all the wedding dresses she makes are beautiful, all fifties retro. . .so cool!  pop a pill box hat with cool short veil and i'll be set!

the shop is here if anybody is interested:  http://www.etsy.com/shop/PixiePocket?ref=seller_info

my future brother-in-law is getting married this weekend, so i also got a cutesy dress for that!  i love to dress up, plus it's a nice big family event so it should be cool.  chris and i are responsible for the rice krispie treats for dipping in the chocolate fountain.  was that a great decision?  we shall see. . .

anyway, it's like seven a.m. and my dude should be waking up to go to work soon, so maybe i can see him for a bit!  plus i wanna try to hit the treadmill this morning before i go to bed (stupid third shift job. . .)

peace.

so yeah blog.

it's been a while bloggy.  it's too hard keeping up with two blogs, plus i was basically just double tracking all my food, so my fat blog is pretty much defunct.  but that means i have more incentive to blog here to my bloggy friends!  :D

any way, today is officially. . .

TWENTY POUNDS GONE DAY.

let it live in infamy.

this picture is totally crazy but look at my skinny face!

my mom (who has always been the skinniest of the three) has been emptying her closet to me all day, i have a whole garbage bag full of pants and shirts to take home with me!  i'll say i've gone down a whole size (from 24 to 22) but mom did give me a pair of size 20 capris that fit really well, so i guess it depends on the kind of pants they are.  

anyway, i was just so excited i had to tell you!

also, don't be sad about the fat blog.  mandy and i have started vlogging about our weight loss and have our own youtube channel (ingeniously titled 'two fat girls')!  go join us in awesome weight loss hilarity!  click here and watch us be chubby and funny!

peace.

an excited blog!

it's getting so close!

moving day is tuesday!  i still have so much to do!  i have a little more stuff to pack, i need to do laundry, hang laundry, get my spring clothes out of the shed so i can wash those and hang them.  i have to sort through the stuff under my bed and pack it up too and blah blah blah. . .

i've gotten some new house stuff to go with the other house stuff that chris and i have been hoarding forever.  got a new little end table to match the room, chris bought some more curtains (two windows in the room instead of just one!), some cute storage bins, a million matching hangers (all from dollar tree, whoop whoop!), all sorts of stuff!  i'm excited to make my little home.  :D

i still have my moments of sad though.  i love my family and i'll miss us all being in the same house, but i am engaged and that's a little hard when you don't live together.  i miss him so much when he's gone, i mean, i agreed to spend my life with him so i like to have him around!  once or twice a week doesn't exactly cut it.  D:

but i'm getting more and more excited to just start something new.  

in other news, have some cute.

craig spent the entirety of a thunderstorm on my legs staring at the door like the thunder was gonna come in.

also, look at my cool pajama pants.  they're cool.  :P

in other other news, have you been reading my weight watchers blog!?  i'm lost six whole pounds!  i'm still behind mom and mandy, though, and i think my birth control has something to do with it.  they told me i'd probably gain weight and i figure it's stubborn fat that doesn't want to leave.  i eat my points and i get on the treadmill everyday, as long as i lose a pound or two a week i'll be doing just fine.  

i'm sad i can't share some more cool pictures with you, apparently my camera is too ancient for any of the computers in the house, the memory card doesn't fit in any of them!  i know i can them on chris' computer though, so expect random pictures soonish.

peace.  

a fatty fat blog!

so the whole family is on a journey to not be fat.  we all have our different reasons, but personally i want a wedding dress that zips up all the way in the back.  :D

we signed up for weight watchers on friday since it was the day that the three of us (mom, mandy and i) had off together, but generally it's a bad idea to start a diet at the end of a week.  we still stayed for the meeting and everything, but none of us really planned to count points until monday.

well, i decided to eat relatively normally today and track my points anyway, to see how many points i usually eat.  today is sort of a non-normal day though, since i am currently with chris at a magic tournament, which means fast food all day!  i think it will be a good learning experience and make me not crave the fast food once i see what it will really do to me.

so far, i've had mcdonald's for breakfast.  i had a bacon, egg and cheese bagel, a hash brown and a large sweet tea.  i knew it was gonna be bad for me when i tracked it, but let me break it down to you:

sweet tea (large):  8 pts

hash browns (1): 4 pts

bacon, egg and cheese bagel (1): 15 pts

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

my breakfast alone was TWENTY-SEVEN POINTS.

i only get FOURTY-EIGHT POINTS A DAY.

i'm already down to twenty-one points and all i've had is breakfast!  now when i think about mcdonald's i picture a big ol' heart attack!!!  there's another tournament tomorrow, and if we stop for breakfast i guarantee you i'm having some delicious fruit and oatmeal for just seven points!

HEART ATTACK DO NOT EAT EVER!!

so yes.  i will update you as the day progress.  but apparently i am a fatty and that needs to stop.

peace.