what to do when you feel like literal crap?

when you feel so bad that it may actually be possible that somebody chewed you up, digested you for a little bit and then crapped you back out?

maybe you feel like i look right now?

i think it's all these trees out here out to get me.  after i defended them against chris's allergy-tree-hating.  

right now i have sandpaper throat, giant float-y head feeling and sometimes i have snot that i have no control over.  that's the worst.  the snot that just does it's own thing so you always have to be within arms reach of some tissues before it drips.

i need some nice hot something for lunch, then i shall partake in one of my favorite sick day activities.

coloring in bed.

then maybe a nap.

peace.

oh blogger.

been having so much trouble with school lately.

apparently i missed the end of class.  i don't even know how.  i was just doing class stuff a few days ago and didn't even realize the class was almost over.

i'm going to go on a bleeding artist rant for a moment.

i hate this school now.  not the school really, but trying to become some sort of professional artist has actually made me *hate* art.  i hate it.  i haven't drawn or painted for myself in months (and enjoyed it, anyway), and the things i've produced for classes i find to be below my standards, like, i know i could do better but all i can think the whole time i'm making them is about how miserable i am, how this degree isn't gonna get me a good job and that i'll be a college graduate still working at walmart.  D:

i'm trying to switch schools, which my current school wants nothing to do with and can only think about my government money that they're gonna lose, and i'm still waiting to hear back from the other school i've spoken too.  i'm still gonna do some research though before i pick one, i've requested to not take a class this session so that i have time to think things through and look around.  

for those interested, i want to study elementary education and possibly take my art-y knowledge in the direction of being an art teacher.  i learned to love art as a child and would love to be able to teach other children to love it as well.  i never thought i would like to work with kids, but when it comes to this i'm pretty stoked about it.  

not to mention that an education career is a little more stable than that of an artist, plus i could always do my art-ing on the side and learn to enjoy it again.

so that's my serious rant.

here's a kitty to make you feel better.

peace.

stormy but not blog.

the weather people have been trying to tell me all day that we're all gonna get hit with tornadoes.

okay.  maybe not.  i'm  not blaming weather people.  they were right, totally got hit by the giant line of storms, they just weren't nearly as powerful by the time they got to us.  so we abandoned ship for nothing.  but let me tell you about it anyway.

i 'like' wave 3 weather on facebook, so they tell me weather things all day.  and you can tell something is going on when there are like, 15 posts in a row.  they were thunderstorm watches and warnings, tornado watches and warnings, flash flood, blah blah blah, you name a weather disaster and a city in kentucky and it was there.  so i was on the phone with mandy, we were all like, watching the maps and the radar.  chris's mom wanted us to come there (a brick house will fair better in a tornado than a mobile home every time), and phil was like 'whatever, nothing's gonna happen'.  (and he was right and he's probably mad right now that he went to his parents house.)

the storms were moving pretty slow, so we decided to wait a bit before we left.  i had my purse and my dr. who containment unit (aka a laundry basket and a comforter) ready on the couch.  and yes, i told chris i was not leaving without the cat, and i stuck to my word and chased the cat down and put him in the basket before we left.  

we weren't in a hurry, nothing was happening at the time.  but i did manage to fall down the porch steps and land on my knees on the concrete while snuggling a kitty basket.  basically, i have little to no depth perception at night, and when i look down the porch steps they look like a flat slab of concrete, so chris has to wait at the bottom of the stairs for me.  he waited and he tried to help, but i couldn't see the steps and couldn't see past the kitty basket, so i guess i must have just skipped the last step.  i landed on my knees and my tippy toes (which felt like i'd snapped them backwards) and i guess the sheer upward force of my landing made my back really hurt for a minute.  it's still a little sore.  chris was apologizing the whole time, i kept telling him to stop because there was nothing he could have done about it.  but he always feels bad when i hurt myself.

so we hung out at chris's parents house.  the doctor was freaking out because this is the home of two poodles and one was less than thrilled to see him, so he spent his time hiding behind the toilet in the bathroom.  he was finally feeling like exploring right before we left, but alas, was too late for him.

sigh.  i'm so tired of all these storms, people!  for realsies.  because we took shelter this time and nothing happened, but the one time we don't do it we'll probably be blown away.  it's just so much hassle, plus i'm mad that i fell down the steps.  my knees hurt, my toes hurt, my back is all sore and then this tornado had THE NERVE to NOT SHOW UP.  fuck you, tornado.  you could have at least made an appearance after all that.

watch, i mocked the tornado and sirens are gonna go off or something.

maybe not.

anyway, i'm tired and hurty all over, probably not gonna be able to treadmill tomorrow (AGAIN, my back was already being all sore and wonky earlier today).  so blah.

peace.

two am blog.

it's two am, as the title suggests.

i got so much of nothing done today because i forgot that history classes require 40 pages of reading from something really boring. . .taking history of art of early civilizations.  doesn't that sound neat?

no.  it sounds like cleaning and homework ate up my day so i'm trying to catch up now.  chris has to be to work at 8 am, so he's already asleep.  i decided while he was asleep and i was still all awake i'd do the things i didn't get to do earlier.  

i polished my toes.  they look awful, so i have to redo them tomorrow.

i worked on finishing bug's moko kitty for her birthday on sunday.  the leg i got halfway done crocheting is way too small and i don't know why.  so i'll have to redo it tomorrow.

all of these things would be easier to redo if the doctor didn't decide to shove his claw underneath my nail sideways.  it's still thumping and it has a big pink hello kitty band-aid on it.  it's also my bird flipping finger, and when chris came through the door i was yelling at the doctor.  he was running from me, but i found him in the kitchen and yelled 'you better run you little fucker!' all while waving around my bloody bird flipping finger.

i'm sure you can imagine chris lol-ing it up.

later i found the doctor and apologized for calling him a little fucker and for smacking him in the head while trying to dislodge his claw from my finger.  

the point is crocheting and polishing and doing anything with my dominant hand (even typing this blog) makes my finger thump.  it's just a kitty wound, so hopefully it will feel better tomorrow.

sigh.

so that's been my day.  

peace.

oh blog.

i'm actually pretty sure i've had some awesome times since the last time i blogged, but i can't remember! i really need to blog these things while they're fresh in my memory.

me and my face are having an awful time lately though. first of all, i have these nice areas of melasma on the sides of my face. it looks like i have a funky tan line, but it's actually a build-up of melanin caused by the extra hormones that i'm making because of my birth control plus sun exposure. so after the first time in a really long time that i decided being outside in the summer was a good idea i have to lock myself back up in my room. D:

also, i decided that i should try to remember to wash my face before i go to bed. wake up the next morning with a horrible rash that i can only assume came from my twenty dpllar neutrogena set. D:

spend all of yesterday rearranging my room so that i could have an awesome poofy armchair only too find out that this awesome poofy armchair is WAY TO BIG for my room. had to sacrifice a small bookshelf and a set of storage drawers. the drawers, however, still have a lot of stuff in them that i need, so i have to find a way to get them back in. in better news, this chair is a much more comfortable place to laptop from. it makes writing long boring essays more comfortable (but sadly not any more fun).

speaking of boring essays, history and analysis of design is just as boring as it sounds. but then again i find no joy in any course that has the work history in the title. i understand that you should know the history of something you want to do as a career, but OMG is it boring. luckily now that i have my info, this essay will be pretty easy, but still not any fun.

after finishing this essay i have about a billion picture frames i have to get back up somewhere on the wall. don't know quite where yet, but dammit they are getting off my floor.

peace.