what to do when you feel like literal crap?

when you feel so bad that it may actually be possible that somebody chewed you up, digested you for a little bit and then crapped you back out?

maybe you feel like i look right now?

i think it's all these trees out here out to get me.  after i defended them against chris's allergy-tree-hating.  

right now i have sandpaper throat, giant float-y head feeling and sometimes i have snot that i have no control over.  that's the worst.  the snot that just does it's own thing so you always have to be within arms reach of some tissues before it drips.

i need some nice hot something for lunch, then i shall partake in one of my favorite sick day activities.

coloring in bed.

then maybe a nap.

peace.

oh blogger.

been having so much trouble with school lately.

apparently i missed the end of class.  i don't even know how.  i was just doing class stuff a few days ago and didn't even realize the class was almost over.

i'm going to go on a bleeding artist rant for a moment.

i hate this school now.  not the school really, but trying to become some sort of professional artist has actually made me *hate* art.  i hate it.  i haven't drawn or painted for myself in months (and enjoyed it, anyway), and the things i've produced for classes i find to be below my standards, like, i know i could do better but all i can think the whole time i'm making them is about how miserable i am, how this degree isn't gonna get me a good job and that i'll be a college graduate still working at walmart.  D:

i'm trying to switch schools, which my current school wants nothing to do with and can only think about my government money that they're gonna lose, and i'm still waiting to hear back from the other school i've spoken too.  i'm still gonna do some research though before i pick one, i've requested to not take a class this session so that i have time to think things through and look around.  

for those interested, i want to study elementary education and possibly take my art-y knowledge in the direction of being an art teacher.  i learned to love art as a child and would love to be able to teach other children to love it as well.  i never thought i would like to work with kids, but when it comes to this i'm pretty stoked about it.  

not to mention that an education career is a little more stable than that of an artist, plus i could always do my art-ing on the side and learn to enjoy it again.

so that's my serious rant.

here's a kitty to make you feel better.

peace.

too much stuff blog.

don't have time to do all the things i want, including blog.  it depresses me a bit, and maybe my my six followers as well.  :P

anyway, i spend all my time working in hell and studying in hell and then hopefully sleeping.  the pay is alright at least, but i don't think anyone actually knows how to run my department, or else they just can't agree on one way and stick with it.  it's hard to do a job when three-ish people are telling you three-ish different ways to handle the same problem.

also i need to see my dude way more often.  not that i don't see him, cuz i do, but we have some serious wedding planning that needs to go on.  i know we still have about a year, but that's really not a long time apparently.  mom offered to buy us our plates and little party favors and such, but we don't even know how many people will be there yet, and that sort of list making definitely requires both of us to be together for a few hours with both of us awake!

i thought i had decided on a dress, though.  then i fell in love with another hand-made dress on etsy, only to find out that the fabric it's made from is discontinued, so i would have to order it now to be sure to have it.  problem is i'm still losing about one to two pounds a week, sometimes as many as four (and sometimes none at all), so there is no way for me to know what size to order that dress. . .i could have it altered, but i don't want to pay for dress stuff twice. . .

my plan on that front is to continues weight watchers in 'lose' mode until about august of next year, order the dress at whatever size i am then (it takes a month or so to get it, it's hand-made and comes from new zealand), and then go into 'maintain' mode until after the wedding.  

this is the one i want, but that polka dot tulle apparently won't be made forever, and that's my favorite part!  but all the wedding dresses she makes are beautiful, all fifties retro. . .so cool!  pop a pill box hat with cool short veil and i'll be set!

the shop is here if anybody is interested:  http://www.etsy.com/shop/PixiePocket?ref=seller_info

my future brother-in-law is getting married this weekend, so i also got a cutesy dress for that!  i love to dress up, plus it's a nice big family event so it should be cool.  chris and i are responsible for the rice krispie treats for dipping in the chocolate fountain.  was that a great decision?  we shall see. . .

anyway, it's like seven a.m. and my dude should be waking up to go to work soon, so maybe i can see him for a bit!  plus i wanna try to hit the treadmill this morning before i go to bed (stupid third shift job. . .)

peace.

sad no music blog.

i miss my iPod so much! all of my music! ALL OF IT. eaten by an old piece of technology.

look at this thing. they don't even make these anymore. D: this may as well be an iPod dinosaur. somebody's gonna find a fossil of my little iPod mini like a thousand years from now and be like 'oh, wow! a primitive iPod! i'm gonna sell this to the museum!' and they'll walk off with their iPod robot man-servants that also happen to play all of their favorite music.

sad face.

my only spot of happy at the moment is that gen con is almost here! it's so close that i can almost smell the sweaty nerds! i can't wait!! i hope the tardis is gonna be there again, i have to take lots of pictures with it so mandy can be jealous. hee hee hee. i am an evil tiffers. :P

i guess that's about it. random bored-without-my-iPod blog.

peace.