the dreadmill.

i hate treadmills.

but my weight has been really jumpy lately, and i don't like it.  i would like to lose about 15 more pounds before the wedding, which would put me at 65 pounds lost.

my treadmill buddy and my food diary.

i totally lost all sense of food tracking there for awhile.  i'm trying to get back on it, but it's still only a few days out of the week, it's slowly getting better though.

not only do i want to lose more before the wedding in october, but mandy and i would like to participate in the color run, probably not this year, but hopefully next year, so i want to learn to run!

it's the happiest 5k on the planet!

can you believe we want to participate in a 5k!?!  I CAN'T.

i know even if i treadmill till next year i won't be able to run a 5k, but i may be able to jog a 5k or speedwalk a 5k.  there are pictures of people way bigger than us having just as much fun as the people running!  i just want to say i've done it!

today i ran/jogged about 2 minutes on the treadmill.  it's the first time i've ever tried.  i was only on about fifteen minutes, but i tried to jog (hands off the bars and everything!) about 15-20 seconds of ever song i listened to.  the longest i went was 30 seconds, and when i got down to the 10 second countdown to the end of my treadmill time i bumped it up again.  i feel really good right now, but i am a little more sweaty than usual.  D:

so we'll see how it goes!  my goal is just a pound this week, and to track everyday, even when i'm bad!  (gonna try super hard not to be bad, though.)

next goal is to get on my bike once i move to days.  i need to get the tires aired back up and try to scrub some of the rust off the gear shift (not that care about gears).  if i have fun with the bike and ride it somewhat regularly, i'm gonna save up for a bike that i really like, rather than the yard sale bike sitting by the front porch.

fell in love with this bike today at work.
$150 that i don't have, though.  D:

baby steps, though.  baby steps to maybe a super cute bike.  :D

peace.

a meringue adventure.

after so many high calorie sweets at chris's birthday party on sunday, i decided that i needed to distract myself from the leftovers with something equally as sweet but not as horrible for my tummy.

when we joined weight watchers last year, at our first meeting in the little magazine thing was a recipe for chocolate and vanilla meringue cookies and i made them almost immediately.  they were perfect and awesome and i was very proud.

that had never happened again.

for mandy's birthday last year, she had a wonderland party and wanted meringue mushroom cookies.  those came out alright.  definitely mushroom shaped but not as good as that first batch.  also that year for chris's birthday, he made root beer cupcakes with root beer syrup that we found in the baking aisle at walmart.  so with the leftover meringue from the mushrooms, i decided to make some root beer flavored by replacing the vanilla extract with a tiny bit of root beer syrup.

that doesn't really work.

but i didn't learn my lesson.

today i though i would fix this problem by using a tiny bit of vanilla extract and a tiny bit of the remaining hazelnut syrup i use in my coffee.

first off, this recipe is supposed to make 44 adorable meringue cookies at about a half a point each.  mine made about 20 huge meringue cookies at at least one point, maybe one and a half.

they're huge.  wtf?

and when i pulled them out of the oven there were delicious crunchy bubbles all over the place that tasted exactly like my hazelnut syrup.  one of the pans was too big for one sheet of foil, so i had to overlap two.  and underneath the flap where they overlapped, guess what i found.

delicious hazelnut syrup.

the same delicious hazelnut syrup that i BEAT INTO MY MERINGUES was now crunchy bubbles and puddles under the foil rather than a flavoring in my cookies.

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN i need some baking scientist to explain this to me.

and no, my meringues taste nothing like hazelnut.  they are still sweet and delicious from the vanilla and the sugar but with none of the tasty nuttiness that i longed for. . .

peace.

dress size? don't care! :D

i had chris measure me for my wedding dress the other night.

i knew i wouldn't be happy during this process, there are some things i just don't want to know. . .i almost told him not to show me. . .but i keep telling myself to remember how far i've come, not how far i still have to go. . .

i know my whole seven followers probably get tired of hearing about my weight.  but you have to remember this has been a huge challenge in my life and i finally feel like i'm winning!  i've been maintaining my weight lately, and while i would like to lose more purely for health reasons, if i never lost another pound. . .

I WOULD BE HAPPY.

i can put on almost anything i want and look cute.  when i go out in public i feel like i have a nice confident stride now, i'm never wondering what people think about me or if i'm jiggling or if people see me as a big ol' hippo or something.

if they see me as a hippo, i can guarantee you i'm the cutest hippo they've seen all day!

told you.

and if they don't like the clothes i have on, then their lucky they don't have to wear them!

i rock the polar bear while stocking baby diapers.
wanna fight about it?

anyway, back to these numbers.

the last time i measured my own waist was for my prom dress in 2004.  at seventeen years old i had a 52 inch waist.  how i survived, i do not know.

and i cried.  i cried over that dress.  when that dress arrived i was so terrified it wasn't going to fit. . .i thought i was way to fat and too ugly to find a dress to wear to prom and that i shouldn't go and i don't have a date because i'm so fat and ugly. . .

but guess what?  in that dress with my hair done and my make-up rocking and with my 52 inch waist, that night in that limo i felt like a motherfucking princess.  :D

see?  that number didn't matter at all.  it's just a number.  this is what i got, and i'm gonna make it work.

for those of you curious, my waist this time around was 44 inches, that's eight inches down around my waist and about 4 dress sizes.  and if i'm still at that size when it's time to walk down that aisle, then i'll rock it.  and if i'm a little bit smaller than i'll have that dress nipped and tucked and it will just be delicious tasty icing on the cake of my day.

peace.

bloggy face lift!

yes, it's true!  i decided i want to get some blogging done, and i was tired of looking at my old blog (even though it was still pretty cool and i was very proud of it!).  so here's a nice simple theme to hold me over until i mess with it some more.

how goes it in the life of tiffers, you ask?

or you don't ask but i imagine you do in my head?

first off:  50 POUNDS LOST IN ONE YEAR.  how about them apples (them tasty, tasty apples)!?

on our three year anniversary.  <3

it's amazing.  it's like a stopped carrying a travel safe or something.  i can't imagine picking it up again.  and i'm also down about 3 dress sizes.  it's great!  i love it!  

on the down side, i'm sort of plateauing at the moment.  i'm stuck in the 243 - 240 range.  and i want to lose more before the wedding in october!  my treadmill has about had it, but i'm trying to convince chris to take walks with me outside since kentucky finally gifted us with spring weather (after trying to level us with tornadoes).

in other tiffers news:  guess who has two thumbs and is developing anxiety issues just like everybody else on both sides of her family?  this lady!

i went to the urgent care clinic because i kept having these random chest pains and my heart kept beating fast for seeming no reason.  got hooked up for an EKG and was having tiny palpitations, which the doctor who treated me told me he might be concerned about if i was 65, but not at 25.  so then she asked 'what's going on your life?  any stress?'

let's see:

failing several classes.

almost getting kicked out of school.

working overnights and not getting any sleep.

having a day off and sleeping all day because i haven't slept in 4 days.

bosses are bitches with super high expectations for one normal individual.

planning a wedding.

paying for a wedding.

no money no money no money.

keeping my grades up.

not going off on a member of management who wants 12 hours worth of work done in 8.

trying not to be a fatty.

no.  i don't see any stress here.

i left with 20 anxiety pills.

i haven't taken any.  which she told me a lot of her patients rarely take them, with mild anxiety just knowing you have them can be enough to keep the anxiety at bay.  so i keep them in my purse just in case i need them.

i make chris laugh, though,  i was reading the little pamphlet about all the side effects and told him i was scared to take them.

chris:  it's an ANXIETY PILL.  you're too scared to take it.  take one and you'll feel better, that's what it's for!

so yes, anxious tiffers waits anxiously instead of taking her anxiety medication. 

but it's all good.  i haven't had any problems since.

that's the current life of tiffers.

have a picture of my wedding dress, i should be ordering it in the next few days.

peace.

i can't wait to walk down the aisle in this!  <3

gen con 2011 blog!

i freakin' love this place.

gonna try to blog but there is a very jealous kitty next to me that thinks he needs all of my attention.  ALL OF IT.

anyway, gen con this year was pretty sweet for two reasons:  1) we got to stay the whole weekend and 2) we had a little more fun money that usual.

first, i have to say our diet took a vacation as well.  we ate whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted because we were on vacation, dammit!  so i came home with 2 extra gen con pounds, but no biggie.  :D

a million peeps!  well maybe not a million, but in the lots of thousands.

that pic if from the opening of the exhibit hall, where the do a dice roll for no reason other than it's a gamer convention and they can.  i've never gotten to be there when it opens so it was pretty cool.

chris ald the lego-taur.

i love this picture.  chris hates it because as he took his arm down after i took this shot the lego-taur cut him with his legos.  the first thing chris did was go the WOW room and show phil is battle scar.

just silly.

there was so much stuff going on and so much stuff i wanted to buy!  plus a million people in costumes and a bunch of game demos going on and all kinds of stuff.

this year i went to a few of the anime events.  i usually don't go because i don't like the new breed of anime fan that just goes ballistic over something just because it's from japan.  annoying little buggers.  i spent two events with two girls like that who i wanted to strangle.

anyway, these events were run by an awesome group of anime convention people called wasabi anime who appreciated the retro shows that i love, japanese culture and didn't squeal just because of their big anime eyes.  they put on an awesome panel about myazaki, including info and history of his films and watching his style develop.  i went to anime retro: sailor moon, followed the same thing, talked about the japanese version of the show, showed all the opening themes and discussed the recycled music the way better story lines the sailors had before they came to america.  lastly i went to anime name that tune, i should have played because i actually knew a lot of the themes, but i was afraid they'd play to much new stuff and i'd just embarrass myself.

BUFFALO.

POWERLIFTER played again this year!  sadly, they're probably getting a little full of themselves because it wasn't free this year.  i was great and i loved it but i was kinda bummed when they blew the speakers out and the show was cut short.  it wasn't surprising they went out, after all about six other acts blared through them before had.  did snag me an awesome tee shirt though.

now for some random costumes:

jareth and link.

the eleventh doctor and a weeping angel.

the eleventh doctor and lady!tardis.

also demoed a few games and this is the first year i've done that.  the first was a dice game called 'quarriors'.  chris loved it, it was alright to me but my main problem was i could barely read the dice.  you probably shouldn't try to fit 4 important bits of information on one side of a die.  the second was the penny arcade deck building game, which i loved and chris loved (plus it probably helped him that we were playing with a booth babe who he had almost defeated in WOW combat earlier that week) and there was a card based on this:

TOUCH WIENERS.

so i got to touch wieners several times with said booth babe.  and every time you play 'touch wieners' you get to say 'touch wieners' and every time you say 'touch wieners' it just gets funnier and funnier.

(for anyone who cares, info on the touch wieners card:  you play it and anyone else who has it can play it too (and gets to say 'touch wieners!) and you and anyone who has it gets to draw a card.  if nobody else plays touch wieners than your just sad and lonely and no card for you.)

and it's awesome.

our last day was kinda boring though.  actually we kinda got all our stuff done one the first two days, so the last two days were spent wandering aimlessly.  the fourth day was the worst because we had literally seen everything there was to see.  our final adventure was spent trying to find chris's cell phone that he dropped in the hyatt and was luckily picked up by a friendly hobo.

we also had an awesome denny's adventure in which we spent the entire time saying 'touch wieners' for no reason at all.

chris say's he's going to compile his list of favorite quotes from this year, if he does i'll share them.  i promise they will be way funnier out of context.

peace and kitty ears.

a fatty fat blog!

so the whole family is on a journey to not be fat.  we all have our different reasons, but personally i want a wedding dress that zips up all the way in the back.  :D

we signed up for weight watchers on friday since it was the day that the three of us (mom, mandy and i) had off together, but generally it's a bad idea to start a diet at the end of a week.  we still stayed for the meeting and everything, but none of us really planned to count points until monday.

well, i decided to eat relatively normally today and track my points anyway, to see how many points i usually eat.  today is sort of a non-normal day though, since i am currently with chris at a magic tournament, which means fast food all day!  i think it will be a good learning experience and make me not crave the fast food once i see what it will really do to me.

so far, i've had mcdonald's for breakfast.  i had a bacon, egg and cheese bagel, a hash brown and a large sweet tea.  i knew it was gonna be bad for me when i tracked it, but let me break it down to you:

sweet tea (large):  8 pts

hash browns (1): 4 pts

bacon, egg and cheese bagel (1): 15 pts

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

my breakfast alone was TWENTY-SEVEN POINTS.

i only get FOURTY-EIGHT POINTS A DAY.

i'm already down to twenty-one points and all i've had is breakfast!  now when i think about mcdonald's i picture a big ol' heart attack!!!  there's another tournament tomorrow, and if we stop for breakfast i guarantee you i'm having some delicious fruit and oatmeal for just seven points!

HEART ATTACK DO NOT EAT EVER!!

so yes.  i will update you as the day progress.  but apparently i am a fatty and that needs to stop.

peace.

a new years blog.

hope everybody had an awesome new years!

our annual new years party was alright.  we got stormed on for a random minute and also learned spanish words playing mexican bingo.  apparently 'la chalupa' is a lady in a boat (according to the cards artwork, anyway).  i had to forbid chris from ever ordering chalupas at taco bell again since sometimes he gets more then one.  there is no way i'm letting him have three ladies and three boats.  D:<

i also learned in the past few days that chris is a human antennae and that by touching the wii and holding his arm out he can make netflix movies load faster.  i also learned that three strikes in a row in bowling is called a turkey. i don't know why it's called that.  what i do know is that when you achieve turkey on wii sports resort you earn the gobble gobble stamp.

i want the gobble gobble stamp.

but i apparently do not have the skills.

in other news, this is way to hard to type because my nails are way to long.  these things have to go.

(for anybody who was curious, i really did trim my nails after typing that.  much better.)

in other other news, we are officially on our new years diet, or as well as we can be anyway.  i even got up early to walk a bit on the treadmill before work.  we're going for a sort of weight watchers thing, except we can't afford weight watchers, so we found all the calculators and recipes and such online for free.  :D  chris (being the awesome nerd that he is) is actually looking up the nutrition facts of our favorite places to eat, putting them in the points calculator and making us all a chart of the number of weight watchers points fast food has.  

according to these numbers i will probably never eat at mcdonald's again, with it's 16 point double quarter pounder.  i don't even think it's double cheeseburger is worth the points (i think it was like 8) when i only have 36 points.  D:

he even found something we can use to calculate the number of points in recipes, so we can safely cook our own food and not just live on frozen meals!  

hopefully we can achieve something.  my goal is to be a chubby bride instead of a really fat bride.  so that is definitely an awesome incentive to get me to do things.  i think about it while walking on the treadmill, about how i don't want to get married then die of a heart attack because i'm clogged with fat.

chris even agreed to give up his makeshift diet to do this with me.  i think the geek in him just likes to do all the calculations.  which is fine if it means he'll stick to it with me.  i do love him so.  :)

in the next few days i want to buy a nice journal to use to keep track of my foodie things.  a good tip we've gotten from friends that have done food journaling is to not be afraid to splurge on the journal you really want, since if it's cool and pretty then you won't get bored of looking at it.  :P

i think that's about it.

well.  this morning one of my fiancées friends passed away.  i'm very bad at being comforting, especially when the person needing to be comforted is not in hugging range, so i hope he knows how much i love him and that it's going to be okay and that i'm here if he needs me.  i love you.

peace.